Back To School

So off they went.... Both of them to school and I am Totally okay with this.... Really....

Okay well not really but I am putting up a good front. I knew this day was coming. I actually prayed for it to get here fast a few weeks ago when I hit the summer wall of bored cranky children. And now that it is here I have mixed emotions. I am happy for them, especially Ryan since this is his first year. I know in my heart he is ready for this next step. But I still look at him as my baby. The preemie who came 7 weeks early and still needs Mommy 100%. he has grown up so much and I am so proud of him. Evan is going for the second year and for him I think it's like riding a bike. He remembers school, he remembers his teachers and he remembers that Mommy always comes back to pick him up. He even told Ryan this morning as we were driving to school. "Mommy comes back" Ryan," and he is right. Mommy always comes back.

So we get there and despite my best intentions a lump formed pretty quickly in my throat. But I stayed busy with snapping a ton of pictures and talked up how fun going to school was going to be. We went to Evan's room first. He knew where to drop off his bag and lunch box. He gave me a kiss and went right on in. "I love you Evan see you later" I said as I waved. He was fine and didn't even look back. I was glad for this, glad that he didn't feel the need to cry or get upset. I was really happy for him (and really really fighting the lump in my throat at this point...)

So on to Ryan's class. In typical Ryan fashion he cruised right on in and went straight to a play area where some cute little girl was hanging out. I took a few more pictures and felt that since he was doing fine and not crying it was time to make an exit. Would he even notice, and as I thought that he looked up at me. I smiled at him and said I would see him later. Together we handed his teacher his school bag and she helped him hang it on the shelf. Then he went back to playing. I snuck out and this time I was the one who didn't look back. I walked out back to my car and never cried, never got upset, never felt more proud of two little boys as I did just then.