This is the first time I have ever written a letter like this. I will do my best to get straight to the point so here goes.
WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??
I am writing to you today after my latest incident of attempting to take a toy out of it's box, plastic wrapping and/or bullet proof plastic containers.
First off, you may not realize this so let me do a little of explaining. Small children have zero patience!! Let me type that word again
I would assume you people would take this into consideration when designing these boxes and wrapping for kids toys. Now, let me back up and say this. I do understand that all packing needs to be designed securely to prevent sticky fingers and shopping lifting. Especially with kids toys. I am still reeling from the $100 silver salt and pepper shakers that Evan swiped off a display table in Macy's one day only for me to realize it half way down the parking lot...
SIDE TRACKED - sorry back to the point of my letter.
WHAT ONE EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Let me start with the basic concept of packaging. Is it all that necessary to use bright colors, vivid pictures and basically anything and everything that a 3 year old can pick out from 200 feet away? Are you aware of the fact that children, especially pre-schoolers thinks everything belongs to them and have ZERO (there is that word again Z.E.R.O) fear of showing their ass in public, especially in large retail super center stores where most likely friends family even worship Pastors are almost always lurking and waiting for my reaction to said ass showing.
But let me get to the real meat and potatoes of my letter... what on earth is up with the plastic ties that bind all toys to their packaging. I mean, is it necessary to use 127 of them, the toy is 3 inches long?? And is is some kind of cruel joke to actually screw in a toy to it's packaging? Do you think it's funny that when Mommy pleads and begs with her child that he can open it when we get home, only to realize that it will take the entire crew of Home Depot to help me get the stupid toy out of the box and we Mommies (or at least myself anyways) have no idea where screw drivers are kept in the house?? I mean seriously WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???
OH BLOODY HELL!!
But before I get too carried away let me digress a tad (I AM PERFECTLY CALM!!).
Surely systems are in place for a reason and I will try and understand your reason and logic behind security proofing a toy to it's box that you need the jaws of life to undo. But please hear me as I think I speak for most Mothers everywhere. Knock this crap off. Or if anything please oh please do away with the hideous plastic ties. They just plain suck and serve ZERO purpose on this earth (Websters definition of Zero - having no magnitude or quantity : not any
Thank you in advance for taking time to read my letter. I am sure most of you are relatively nice and decent people. I am just convinced not a single one of you owns a child under the age of 5.
Here are some photos of why this letter has wound up in your hands today:
Before (the storm)
Ryan showing his ass while Mommy fights with getting toy out (isn't he cute?)
It didn't have to be this way:
The most eveil things on earth next to double fudge brownies:
Finally, they are happy: